Surrender
Surrender has a bad rap in this competitive world. It doesn’t carry much appeal. It sounds weak to our ears. We tend to respect the “never say die” attitude of our movie heroes. Even the stories of our real life heroes is one of coming from humble beginnings and moving to where they are, by persistence and tenacity and overcoming challenges. Surrendering doesn’t seem to be the way to overcome obstacles and challenges. We even say “overcome our challenges”. We beat our challenges! To surrender is to be defeated.
I would like to suggest that there is another way of dealing with challenges that could be useful at times. We can add another tool to our tool chest in dealing with our complex and very important decisions. That tool is surrender, which may be more effective in some circumstances than trying to overcome our challenges with force. I would like to put a new shine on it and show that surrender is not weakness or giving up; to see surrender as- placing something of higher value over something of less value. To let go of a smaller limited view and put it in service to something greater, wider, deeper and more wholesome. This approach is to see the challenge as an opportunity for growth and evolution through surrender to the higher value.
Parents do this all the time. They often put their personal wants aside, let go of them, to take care of the whole family.The father doesn’t go and buy a new car he has a fancy for. He takes those resources and puts them into an education fund for his kids. There isn’t a sense of personal loss when he does this. He sees a greater good and surrenders to it; he is fully for that decision. Then there is the larger surrender of someone who uses their annual two week holiday to spend their hard earned money to go and build a house for strangers in need. I know people like this. Amazing! Even in the physical world a hydrogen atom surrenders itself to a water molecule, thereby participating in some thing greater and more complex than a solitary hydrogen atom. It isn’t lost in the water molecule, it participates in it, and becomes more than it was. The whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts and we become part of a larger whole through surrender.
It is putting something of higher value over something of lower value. It is an empowering movement if we actually choose to align with that greater power because we see that it is bigger than us. It is not a giving up or being defeated if we give ourselves to it, if we choose to serve it because it is more wholesome, because it is for a greater good.
Sometimes the need to surrender comes from seeing a limitation and aligning with something bigger to go beyond that limitation, to solve a problem at a higher level than the level of consciousness that created the problem. Einstein’s famous quote -“problems can’t be solved at the same level of consciousness that created them.” Letting go of a smaller consciousness and surrendering to a higher level of consciousness is exactly the way to move to the higher level of consciousness in order to solve our problems. We have to let go and surrender our limited perspective in order to be able to take on the higher new perspective. It’s a leap but we have to make it if we are to grow.
In real life it might mean saying something difficult and unpopular, letting go of my wanting to look good or to be part of the gang. I see that saying a necessary, unpopular truth is more important than my fear of being rejected. It is a friend telling me that I said something that was off, that I was insensitive. That friend is surrendering a short term comfort between us to a higher truth that must be said: that I was off. He is taking a risk for a higher good. He knows that humans don’t always react with gratitude when we are told we are not not as wonderful as we think we are. And by speaking that truth there is an opportunity for me to grow from my error, instead of just going along unconsciously feeling like : I’m OK. I’m a good person, when in fact I had done something that wasn’t very nice or kind or good. By his act of courage and surrender to the truth, he has given me an opportunity to grow and surrender my self story to something greater and kinder. A deep gift.
When I see surrender as placing something of higher value above or over something of lesser value, surrender becomes a movement of ordering, of recognizing higher values and placing things in right relation. It becomes a letting go of limitation and an active submitting to a higher order; a movement of inclusion and transcendence, not defeat and obliteration. The smaller thing adds it’s unique elements into the larger, higher whole and thereby participates and identifies with the new, more complex, and nuanced whole.
There is a trust involved in moving from the small and limited, to something larger, beyond current understanding. I trust in the fundamental movements of Life which have allowed us to grow to where we are now. Looking back I can see how how that trust was warranted, how it worked out. I don’t know what the bigger picture will be going forward but I recognize that I have to make the leap into the unknown or stay where I am, in suffering and stagnation. Evolve or die: let go of what I know and open to the unknown bigger picture.
Discomfort and frustration are natures’ way of telling us that we need to surrender; that something isn’t working; that we need to let go and make way for something else. That discomfort is the clue to make a change, to align with something greater. Thank you Pain.
Perhaps surrender can be seen as an essential movement of evolution. A movement of letting go of limitation and becoming a part of a larger whole, opening to playing a part in a bigger game, a game which is beyond our personal control. It is becoming more active and effective by surrendering our energy and giving it to a higher, deeper, more inclusive purpose. Isn’t Love a surrendering of my separate self to a new whole, whether is is a couple, a family, a culture, the world?
It is an act of putting something higher over something lower, something of greater depth over something of less depth; the interests of the the tribe over the interests of a single person, the planet over the interests of a few. As humans we have the ability to actively choose to surrender, of actively putting something greater over our individual or egoic needs and thereby participating in a greater, more complex and beautiful whole. What I surrender to, I become.
To surrender requires that I am free; the simple freedom of choosing to not hold on, of seeing absolutely clearly, not filtered by habit, desires, fears or cultural conventions of status or prejudice. We can choose let go of these things. It is always a disaster when some thing of less value is made more important than something of greater value, like making my fear of making a mistake and being wrong, more important than just taking action and trying my best. Sometimes mistakes can lead to correction, whereas fearful inaction remains hidden, surreptitious, un-evolve-able. And then sometimes inaction might be the best call. I need to freely assess each unique situation and apply intelligent judgement. No rules. Freedom, aaaarrrrrggg. It’s hard. I just want a rule I can follow. I just want to not have to think and take responsibility. Well, sorry, time to grow up. There is a lot at stake. We have so much technological power for destruction. Our wisdom has a long way to go to catch up. I have a hard time trying to align with a greater good in my own little world and I often fail. As Ovid said two thousand years ago: “I see better things, and approve, but I follow worse.” Here is another place where I just want to cop out and say: It is just too, big, too hard. I can’t do anything about it. Perhaps I can learn to surrender that hopelessness and inactivity to taking responsibility for the little bit I can do. Eventually the extremity of our situation will force us to surrender to Life. We could save some suffering if we step up and do it sooner and willingly. Do the wheels of wisdom need to be greased with blood and tears?
Nature has provided us with examples of simple surrender. The moon surrenders to the earth’s gravity and our planet surrenders to the greater gravity of the sun. We made a parallel surrender of our belief that the sun revolved around the earth. The hydrogen atom surrenders to the water molecule, which surrenders to the cell which surrenders to the organism which we need to surrender to the whole of humanity. Each is a surrendering to something greater, more wholesome and complex and beautiful: evolution itself. We live in a world of beautiful surrenderings. Nature uses simple mechanical surrenderings, and now, given that we have freedom of choice can choose this living movement.
Our surrendering, using choice, would be as simple as gravity except that we don’t see clearly through the filter of our beliefs and stories and desires. Mostly people do get things in the right order. It is incredible how much we get right in our busy, complex world. People are co-operating and surrendering all the time in beautiful ways to make our world work. But we do have some blind spots, individually and culturally. Sometimes we are being driven by things to which we are unconsciously holding on. By not seeing clearly we’re not able to choose the best thing in any given circumstance. I think I can learn to let go of my filters, with the help of some friends who will tell me when I’m off, who will tell me the truth when I’m missing it. With their help I can stop holding on to these immature and ineffective beliefs, letting go of them, so that I can see more clearly and make better decisions from a larger place. I think the notion of surrender could also be a useful tool in dealing with some of our big issues. I believe that we have some serious surrendering ahead of our culture, if we are to stop polluting the planet for short term gain. Surrender may actually be a life or death issue for our planet. I believe that we can cultivate an attitude of constant surrendering, of putting a greater good over a lesser good, of trying, as best we can, to surrender the partial to the whole, divisiveness to inclusion, self interest to the larger good; moving from fracture to rapture.
© michael mcpherson